~ My deepest longing is to follow after God wholeheartedly no matter what life throws at me
~ My deepest longing is to be the mother that my children desire of me
~ My deepest longing is to be the best keeper of my home
~ My deepest longing is to draw nearer to God
My heart has been longing for so many things lately, and as the saying goes, with everything there is a season. So as I sit and wait for the seasons to come and go, I still tell God the deepest desires of my heart, because I believe that God honor what we desire. In fact, he wants us to have desires. He created us so that we could come to Him with those deep desires. ' Draw close to me, and I will draw close to you. '
Today has been an alright day. But I am struggling. ( Playing the Victim, just a little bit) For example, one thing that has bothered me for a while is loosing weight. I think for me its been a constant battle in my life. But I really have no one to blame but myself. I ate, I gained weight, I ate more and well now I am at the terrible weight I am. I get tired easily, have no energy. I am very moody, and emotional, and to be honest I hate it. But at the same time, am terrified to start and finish that race. I am so afraid of failure, but at the same time am afraid of rejection mostly. But this weight loss isn't 20 pounds its like over 100 and that is what scares me the most. I am eating myself into a heart attack, or possibly diabetes.
As this desire to lose weight stirs in me I really now that God is stirring that most uncomfortable feeling within me, because he knows whats at steak. He only wants the best for me, and I so now that. Sometimes I wish I so too wanted the best for me too. If only I could truly grasp the mighty love of my Lord Jesus Christ, then maybe I could get how I am slowly and surely killing myself.
~ So my prayer this week is that deep desire to get healthy, no quickly, and not over night, but for the rest of my adult life. That I can respect this body I have been given and stop listening to the lies of the enemy. And yeah stop playing that victim, as to why this happened it is me. My choice, and my will. And if I do not finally stand against what i now is wrong, then my choices my in fact have very serious life alternating consequences.
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5 comments:
you are not alone. If I can say there is hope, than golly gee, there definitly is!!!
If you want it, you can do it. Jesus said that we will do even greater things than he! This is not too big for Him to do through you.
Grab that hope that Christ offers freely
Hold it like it's your last breath
Never let it go
And then run like the dickens with it!!!
I am still praying for you and I still love you
Forgiven,
dear sister, I am praying for you.
It amazes me, and brings me joy when I remember that Christ is our promised land and that all we have to do is step in.
I know you know this, but I will remind you that God is listening to your heart.
"Call to Me, and I will answer you,..." Jeremiah 33:3
I have those same longings that you wrote at the top of your post.
Try to take it a day at a time. Have you ever tried a food/exercise journal? I think it really helps to write down everything you eat (not necessarily counting calories though) and when you exercise. It's kind of like something that helps keep you accountable.
It always helps to have a friend help keep you accountable too. Just some thoughts.
Today is a new day and another chance to make good choices (for me too)in all we do. Praying for you, friend.
You can do it. One step at a time. Don't try and change everything at once. Change one thing a week.
And remember--more of HIM MEANS LESS ROOM FOR OTHER THINGS. Like emotional eating. If your emotions all filled up with Him--you will feel full.
And watch letting satan make you take anger or frustration out on your own body.
He beats you up and then you beat yourself up.
You are worth more- you are the child of the King. Don't let Satan stomp on you any more.
Get angry at the right person.
All journeys start with a desire for something new and different.
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