Hip Hip Hiporay

`( This is not me...it is a lady named Diane. But this is how much I weigh.)~ Sad, but true. I have reached a weight that I am so sick of. But in this eye opening journey, I have realized so many things.

1) Is that I am so an emotional eater. Happy, sad, mad, dissipointed, angry, lonely, tired, depressed.... Yep I am an emotional eater. I haven't always been this size, nor this out of shape. And I am pinpointing the very moment I started to turn to food. It was after I had my oldest son. And through tramatic events that followed suit, I found that food comforted me, even for just a minute. And it got worse, way worse. With each child I have had I have never lost the baby weight. Wow, four kids, a lot of weight gained and not so much lost. Not that I am blaming my children, I would never do that. Because I totally know it was all me.

I chose to eat...I gained the weight.

What makes it worse is that now I am so addicted to food I am so scared of eating healthy. Sound weird? It is so true.

2) I put on the weight and only I can remove it. Ahh scary, yep. I have to lose over 100lbs....geesh that is like a baby elephant....holy man am I scarred. And yet...I am so sick and tired of having to only buy plus size close. Cause they never have anything I like. I am tired of people judging me for my weight. And I am tired of how weird I feel in a bathing suite.

3) Everything must change. The way I look at food. How I view excersise. The way I turn to food to be my friend.....and all that. It is all in my mind...and I so know that. What you believe about yourself ( positive or negative) you will be. If you think low of yourself, then you treat yourself negatively. So this must change. I must uproot all those lies I have told myself over the years, UPROOT THEM ALL! Place new truths in my head, biblical solid truths.

So yes, this is going to be my weight loss journey journal day---Saturday's

You can join me, if you wish.

I am going to keep you all posted!

I wanted to share my heart here.

First, when I blog, I blog what is on my heart. I sometimes feel God wanting me to share a particular thing, while other times I just write.

Secondly when I blog I never revel personal things. Because mind you it is on the Internet.

Thirdly, sometimes I write to vent, to complain, to whine. Sometimes I write about hurts, pain, and disappointment. Things from my past, and hopes for my future.

I try not to mention names, because I am not in this blogging world to bash anyone. So if you miss my motive, I am honestly sharing how I feel. I hope no one takes any personal attack, because it is not about that. It is about me, my walk, my life. I honestly hope I haven't offended anyone on here, and if I have I am so sorry.

Sometimes, it is hard to understand what someone is saying, especially on here. And because I know no one really knows me here, all is well. That is why we are called into relationships.....but on the high speed world of fast pass life...sometimes one can miss understand..heaven nows I have...a lot.

`So peace sisters read, my life. Learn something, laugh, cry and rejoice with me. You all mean the world to me. And I enjoy your comments.

Can you Honestly Love Plastic People In those Plastic Steepials

Gotta love those people who are plastic people.

They sit in there plastic benches in those plastic steepials.

Living plastic lives. They are proud of there plastic ways. Can one truly love plastic people. Who seem never to have anything wrong with them. There walk with God is perfect, the marriages are perfect, there kids are perfect, there health is perfect, there finances are perfect, nothing ever seems to get to these plastic people.

At least that is what they want everyone to know. But deep down in these plastic people they are not perfect. So why is it that they wish everyone to know they are perfect. Maybe, because if one truly looked inside them they wouldn't much like them. The things they say, about others, and the things they have done behind closed doors, would astound many that they have fooled.

So I cherish not being a plastic person. Everyone knows what is going on with me, before I do sometimes. But the great thing, isn't everyone knowing, it is that I am completely honest with God, and with myself.

It is Official................

I am moving....it is official...loan went through.........yeah so happy!

Now we need a lawyer ( yuck ) and we need movers.......and I need to pack again. But first we are totally gutting the house and fixing it up so I am not sure when the official move date will be......but we are so excited.

Right now, I am doing 5 loads of laundry ( not my favorite ), cleaning the dishes in my brand new dishwasher ( yippy), vacuuming is done...few. Kids are out of the house yeah, all except one...who is so having a great nap.

It is hot and humid but looks like rain.....oh how I love the rain.

My best friend moved here. Going out with her tonight...alone with no kiddies...so excited to spend time with her. She and I have been friends for 6 years now...and I love her.

As far as me and God.....he is my rock.....love him more and more...each new day.....
`Peace Out Sisters love ya all : } ~

Could it be any more hotter in here?

Crazy hot weather...it is about 30 + outside but it is about 40 + inside.....man can't win.

So hot...so grumpy...and so tired...but hey at least there is ice cold ice tea in the fridge...yippy.

To hot to continue...must retreat to my basement...lol

So....burnt....so glad to be Home!!!!

Well, my break was awesome. The kids and I did nothing but swim...swim...swim. Wow, being away from home, was so good. And it reminded me, that I am not a city girl. In fact, I hate city life with a passion. The peace, the quiet surrender, in the middle of no where, can't be described. The absolute freedom to be who you want to be. No gossip out in the middle of no where, ahh what a relief. It was a godly, moment in my life.

I loved it so much that I have decided to move my family away from the city life. From all those who have hurt me, and continue to. To get away and retreat into God's nature wow, can not see why no one else would.

Anyways, just a few things God showed me in the moments of silence I had.....

1) You can't build a fire with out wood..... meaning you can never build the flame after God if you allow people to stiffer it.

2) You have to be careful roasting marshmallows, because if they are not on the right way they will fall off. Meaning, that our walk with God has to be positioned in such a way so that God can actually work with us. Ever so gently turning us, so that he won't burn us. Positioning us over that refiners fire. Purifying us, making us clean and holy.......hummm

3) You need to take an flashlight when going to the outhouse in the middle of the night ( really gotta love that smell that outhouses admit). Must be that kinda stench when we sin....geesh who wants to smell that all the time, not me. As I learned this week off, that when one has to pee in the middle of the night, one really must take a light with them. Or they will stumble, fall for Satan's lies, believe that what others have to say is who one person is, or whatever. When we think we are in the light we really only have a flashlight shining down on where we think we are headed.

4) Always put bug spray on at night..... those little bugs bite, hard and leave a nasty itch. If we put God on he keeps all those nasty things from ever bothering us again. Backbiting won't hurt , gossip definitely won't affect you, others lying----won't get through . That itch that bothers us will soon go away, and we won't even remember what they where in the first place.


I am so glad I love to camp. I am so glad that God touched me in so many positive ways. This post may sound bitter, but it so is not...really. It is something that God is showing me, reveling to my heart, and it was such a good lesson. For so many years I followed after some certain women in the church I was going to. I so wanted to " fit in". But I got it all wrong I listen to them before I listened to God. They would say jump, and I would say, How High. Well, to find out later that these same women I so tried to impressed would sit around and gossip about me. How honestly devastating that was for me, so heart breaking really. But in away, it was the start of something that God would later reveal to me. It is not about others, goodness no my daughter, it is about me. If they choose to be like that, that is on them. If they choose to walk in sin, it is there sin....but there is something I need to work on in you. It is....
1) That God is God....no matter what that the creator of this world only wants me....that is right ladies I am God's favorite one....he told me so. His oppion matters only, His direction is the most important, and that means if someone says or does something or takes offense to something I have done, Oh well. It is making our relationship right first that matters mostly.

2) Believing without one single doubt that no matter how many times I " screw" up, He loves me anyways. He will never gossip, lie, backbite, cheat, belittle, abuse or neglect you. He will always love you, and he will never forsake you!


Oh ladies have so much more to say...so much more...but I have to clean and unpack...hehehehe.

P.S Please leave nice encouraging comments or don't leave any at all lol!( Sound like my mom, oh hey I am one.)