Hip Hip Hiporay

`( This is not me...it is a lady named Diane. But this is how much I weigh.)~ Sad, but true. I have reached a weight that I am so sick of. But in this eye opening journey, I have realized so many things.

1) Is that I am so an emotional eater. Happy, sad, mad, dissipointed, angry, lonely, tired, depressed.... Yep I am an emotional eater. I haven't always been this size, nor this out of shape. And I am pinpointing the very moment I started to turn to food. It was after I had my oldest son. And through tramatic events that followed suit, I found that food comforted me, even for just a minute. And it got worse, way worse. With each child I have had I have never lost the baby weight. Wow, four kids, a lot of weight gained and not so much lost. Not that I am blaming my children, I would never do that. Because I totally know it was all me.

I chose to eat...I gained the weight.

What makes it worse is that now I am so addicted to food I am so scared of eating healthy. Sound weird? It is so true.

2) I put on the weight and only I can remove it. Ahh scary, yep. I have to lose over 100lbs....geesh that is like a baby elephant....holy man am I scarred. And yet...I am so sick and tired of having to only buy plus size close. Cause they never have anything I like. I am tired of people judging me for my weight. And I am tired of how weird I feel in a bathing suite.

3) Everything must change. The way I look at food. How I view excersise. The way I turn to food to be my friend.....and all that. It is all in my mind...and I so know that. What you believe about yourself ( positive or negative) you will be. If you think low of yourself, then you treat yourself negatively. So this must change. I must uproot all those lies I have told myself over the years, UPROOT THEM ALL! Place new truths in my head, biblical solid truths.

So yes, this is going to be my weight loss journey journal day---Saturday's

You can join me, if you wish.

I am going to keep you all posted!