Okay so I have been reading and re-reading the train up a child series, in which I love. And I realized something...something profound in my spirit. The series looks like To Train Up A Child, but I find myself thinking that the series is actually training me. I find that a lot of my children's " bad behaviour" comes soley from there mom. Me....wow what a hit. As a single mommy I so try to be my children's all and all. But holy cow it takes a lot of energy. Not only being the mom and dad but sole provider and sole spiritual leader. But I find strength in my Lord every morning, and I now that God knows that I am doing the very best I can do. But I mainly judge myself and all the things on my plate. And what scares me the most.....big breathe in......drum roll........is me not correcting my children properly. To direct them to the right road in life....the road of righteousness. And as there mother that is soley my responsibility. That honestly terrifies me so much....because I do not take this lightly. In fact my heart cries out for the Lord's forgiveness especially when I have failed, in ever area I have failed. And believe me when I say this statement of faith....that I am so forgiven and where I lack God anoints.
" Mark well that GOD doesn't miss a move you make; he's aware of every step you take." proverbs 5 (The Message)
" Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place." Proverbs 16
Amen to these verses, I stand firm that GOD knows everything I do right and everything I do wrong. And there is so much comfort there, I feel a release from what pain I carry about my parenting. And I have faith that as GOD works in me, he will restore me to be the very best mother that my kids will ever have......I love GOD so much for giving me healthy children. I am so thankful that GOD allowed me to be there mother. Especially on the days, I feel like why on earth would GOD give me such beautiful children. And honestly I can not wait until the day when the Lord looks at me and says, " You have done well, even though your circumstances were not all that great. You pressed forth, seeking only me. Way to go you faithful and blessed child of mine."
There is a sting in my heart I need to share.....I desire GOD this very moment. I have been on this desire mode now for a couple of days but its healthy for me to write what GOD places on my heart.
So thanks for coming a little closer to my heart.
Blessings TO you all~
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